I realize that I have not posted on this blog in over a year... but yes it is still here. There are so many things in my day to day life that I want to do but I never "get around to it." It is something as simple as hanging pictures in the place I have lived in for almost a year now or something as complicated and tiring as getting back into a healthy workout routine. I am the queen of making excuses on why I can't do those things and for the last 2 1/2 years, Law School has been that excuse for me. It's the perfect excuse really. No matter what event you miss, how many times you say "I haven't gotten around to it" - everyone understands that it is okay because I am in law school and therefore I have no time for anything. The thing is - it's not a far stretch. Looking back at the first semester, I was consumed in every waking moment that I wasn't working - I was ALL law student, ALL the time. Now, I am tired. All the time. The two and a half years of working all day and going to school at night has slowly eaten away at my ability to find motivation for almost anything. Picking up the phone to call a family member or a friend who I haven't talked to in awhile is a tiring prospect. Every week, I say - "this weekend I am going to call (Kelli, Kim, Susie, Mom, Rebecca, Blake, Robert, etc)." Then the weekend rolls around, I work on school, I stare lethargically out the window at the outdoor world which I feel like I am no longer a part of and then before I know it, the weekend is gone and I am returning to the daily grind. Tired.
I did get back to the gym and a healthier lifestyle after the first of this year. Not out of motivation as much as out of necessity. If I didn't do something, I was going to be a fat and tired law student. Now I will be shapely and exhausted law student instead. But I still haven't hung the pictures, or made the phone calls, or written emails or sent birthday cards or anything. Sometimes I feel so self-absorbed I don't even like myself. So I guess this is my reason for writing today. I miss all of you, I want to talk to you more, I want to be part of your lives more and I wish I could say that there was a time coming that I could be. But that time is nowhere near. I will finish this semester, roll right into a full summer semester, then roll into my final year of law school. Next summer, I will be studying for the Bar and next July (2013), I will have taken it and will hopefully be able to breathe just a little for the next 5 months while I wait for the results. The time can not come soon enough.
I hope this blog finds all my friends and family doing well. I hope that you all know that although I don't call or write very often, that I think of you. I am very excited about the path my life is on and there is not a moment that goes by that I regret making the decision to go to law school. I truly feel this is my calling - this is the path I am supposed to be on. It's just that I don't think I realized exactly how long and tiring this path was truly going to be.
Lots of love to everyone....
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